On yardsticks and you
By whose measuring stick are you judging yourself?
Everyone has some yardstick that tells them where they are on the road to where they want to be. But sometimes, the yardstick isn't of our own making.
Whose face do you see looking at your work? What expression is on their face?
Whose voice do you hear commenting on your work?
Are those expressions and comments helpful (even if they are critical!) or do they somehow make you feel smaller, full of personal shortcomings, inadequate in terms of your ability to ever develop your skills as an artist?
If you answered in the affirmative to one or more of the latter, you CAN change that face or that voice. You can even change your past!
"That's ridiculous. You can't change your past," you might think. Yet, you can! Alice (in Wonderland) said she believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
No, we do not live in Wonderland, but as human beings, we have a skill that other animal species do not have. We can control what we think and what we think about. Changing someone else's yardstick of your work is a healthy thing to do if you find it is not helpful to you or your progress.
That face you see judging you might be a teacher from long ago (or yesterday), a parent who showed disapproval in your work, or even a partner who might have no interest in art and not know how to support you. When you remember the person's face, is there a grimace, anger, contempt, or exasperation? Is the picture of that face in color? How close is it? Are you in the picture with her/him or simply observing them? What else do you notice about their face?
Change the picture of that face. Turn it to black and white. Make the picture far away if it felt close to you. Change their grimace and watch the muscles in their face start to relax. Make them shake their shoulders to release their tension. See a smile start to form on their face. It gets wider. When they are fully smiling, turn the picture back into color and bring it close to you. Lock the picture in place, and then let it go.
Or do you hear someone's voice telling you your work isn't good enough? Do they compare you with a sibling or other classmates? That is their yardstick, not yours. Listen carefully to their voice in your head. Turn it into Donald Duck's voice, or very high pitched. Or slow it down so much that you can't understand it any more. Or turn down the volume so you can't hear it. Play with it until it no longer matters. Lock the sounds into place, and then let them go.
Try it. It's fun, and no one else has to know what you're doing.
Take advice from people you trust and respect who help you make progress in your art, but judge yourself by your own yardstick.
